Although it doesn’t feel like fall in San Diego yet, and probably won’t for another couple of months, that back-to-school, back-to-routine feeling is in the air. After being on the go and very relaxed about our routine for much of the summer, it felt so good to be home cleaning, organizing and getting ready for school to begin this week. For the first time, my kids will be wearing uniforms, so I’ve been making sure everything is pressed and ready to go. Tomorrow we meet the kids’ teachers in the morning and then gather with Sienna’s class for lunch. The Opening Convocation is tomorrow evening, and the kids are super excited to wear their dress uniforms. Funny the things they’re enthusiastic about!
I’ve been reflecting on my emotions this week. The last time we made a big switch to the kids’ school routine was different – it triggered extreme anxiety that ultimately led to my awakening. This time, I am aware of my apprehension. I like the familiar. I like knowing what to expect. Not knowing how everything works makes me uneasy. Also, this school is quite academically rigorous, so there’s some nervousness, as in: what are we getting ourselves into!? But, as the mom, I’m trying to keep my emotions steady so the kids can process theirs. Change is hard.
When I’m quiet and prayerful about it, I keep thanking God for making me grow and change over these past five years. Had we embarked on this educational opportunity while I was still enmeshed in a fixed mindset, it would have been disastrous. For all of us. If I still needed to stay “happy” by disconnecting from the moment, I would never be able to sit with my kids as they struggle and provide encouragement and support. My need for everything to go as planned would have heaped so much additional stress onto our family.
Over the past few months and even just this week, Sienna had a couple breakdowns where she just sobbed. She didn’t want to leave her friends or her old school. The old me would have shushed her and diminished her feelings with platitudes, such as “You’ll make new friends,” or “You’ll get used to it.” But, knowing that her feelings were real and needed to be felt, I just hugged her and said, “I know this change is so hard.”
God is growing all of us, all the time. When I recognize and embrace this, I am able to be gracious to myself, my kids, my husband, and everyone I encounter. As our family embarks on the next chapter of our life – The Cambridge School chapter – I am so grateful for this awesome opportunity to give our kids a classical education in a Christian school family. All the challenges will be faced within a community that will love and forgive and extend grace each day.
Please pray for us this week!