Month: July 2014

I had good intentions of my children learning to swim at a young age.  Sienna had her first swim lessons at 6 months and then again around 18 months.  We didn’t make it back to the pool regularly until Mateo was about a year old.  Sienna was then 4 years old and had developed a bit more reservation about the water.

At those lessons, parents weren’t in the water with their kids.  Sienna kept close to me at the steps of the pool.  The instructor was a young woman who clearly knew nothing about child psychology.  She barely greeted Sienna before grabbing her and bringing her into the water.  Sienna screamed and hysterically lunged for me.

We spent the rest of that lesson and the three following Saturdays sitting on the steps.  I gently coaxed Sienna to go one step deeper into the pool each lesson.  She was proud of her accomplishment and we talked about overcoming her fear.

I could have strangled that swim teacher.

In the two years since this experience, Sienna and I have talked a lot about swim lessons.  She’s not afraid of the water.  She’ll play in pools, as long as she can touch the bottom.  She’s never had an issue with water in her face (unlike Teo who still doesn’t like having his hair washed in the bathtub).  Her fear is specifically of swimming lessons.

So, I started asking her if she’d prefer I teach her to swim.  This idea became more attractive over the past few months.  But, whenever we’d go to our local YMCA pool to swim, she’d get teary and ask if she could just play this time.  After several of these struggles, I laid down the law:

“Sienna, if I’m going to teach you, you have to do what I ask you.  We’ll give it one year.  If you’re not water-safe and swimming a year from now, we’re doing formal lessons.”

Big sigh.  “Okay,” she replied.

Our first lesson was last Thursday afternoon.  As we got in the water, I said a little prayer that it would be a positive experience and noted not to push or create a battle of wills over what she’d be willing to do. We worked on putting her face in the water, holding her breath and coming up out of the water to take a breath.  She did it easily and was really excited.  Knowing that this was a big hurdle for many kids while learning to swim, I praised her a bunch for doing it so well.  We also did kicking while I held her.  The atmosphere was extremely positive and she was so proud. “I’m doing it, Mommy!” she kept exclaiming while I beamed at her.

While we were in the locker room after the lesson, she said to me: “Mom, you’re just….(pause) this was awesome.”  I agreed, “It was awesome, love girl.”

Friday afternoon, we were on our way home from school and I mentioned we’d do our next lesson the following day.   Sienna asked, “Can we go today?”  We checked the open swim schedule for the evening and learned that we could go at 7:00 p.m.  Wanting to capitalize on her enthusiasm and knowing we had a full Saturday, I agreed we could go to the pool after dinner.

This time we brought her goggles and we had a lot of fun going underwater and waving to one another.  She held on to me and kicked a few laps around the pool.  Then I explained the next thing I wanted her to try: putting her face in the water and kicking then I’d give her a little push and let go so she could kick a few feet to the wall.

No way!  She started tearing up and saying she was too afraid to try that.  I coaxed, explaining that she could do it and I’d be right there. No way!

The pool has a long disabled access ramp that gradually deepens.  Sienna likes to play in the 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep portion.  So, she continued to work on her breathing and going underwater to wave at me.  Then, she tried going underwater and letting her legs float up so she wasn’t touching at all.  Sienna kicked a bit and even starting taking a few breasts-style type strokes with her arms while underwater.

“Sienna, you’re doing just what I was asking you to do!”  I told her.  “You’re not touching the bottom and swimming a short distance. In fact, it’s more advanced than what I asked, because you’re adding in the arms.”

For the next ten to fifteen minutes I watched her explore her capabilities and push herself to do more.  She’d stay underwater longer or take more strokes.   She then said to me, “Thank you, Mom for teaching me.  I think it works well for me to try to do what you’re doing.”  I hadn’t even realized, of course, she’s watching me swim around while she was playing.  That’s where she got the idea to do the breaststroke arm motion.

I’m really encouraged at how well she’s taking to swim lessons with me.  It’s really rewarding and bonding to do this together.  I’ll let you know how she progresses!

Last night Dennis and I snuggled up to watch the MLB All Star Game after the kids were asleep.  Being able to record games on the DVR and watch them later (and fast forward through commercials!) has really preserved our family life. 🙂

As they announced the American and National league teams, I made several comments along the same theme:

“Who are all these guys??”

“This can’t be the starters, right?”

“I don’t know any of these players!”

Lo and behold, they weren’t the starters, so I was greatly comforted when the starting lineups were announced and I was familiar with at least 75% of those players.  Whew!

A little background – I’ve been a sports fan as long as I can remember.  When Dennis and I became friends, sports was a major source of our conversations and connection.  He was really impressed with my sports knowledge when we first met and started dating.  I’d tease him: “It never occurred to you, being a huge sports fan, that you should date someone who was also a fan?”

Then, a few years into our marriage, I asked him, “Why aren’t you ever impressed with my sports knowledge anymore?”  He replied, “Well, I know you know this stuff now.”  Touché.  It was a classic example of the familiarity that comes with marriage.

Anyway, back to the game…

After years of watching sports and following my San Fransisco Giants faithfully, it was pretty surprising for me that I didn’t know a majority of the players in the All Star Game.  Then again, watching baseball has certainly dropped down priority list over the past six years (other than the Giants’ two World Series wins – I followed those playoffs religiously!).  Dennis knew many more of the players than I did, but even he noted a distinct difference in his level of familiarity with these teams.  “I guess we’ve been busy raising a family, or something” we joked.

Watching this game together felt poignant.  Realizing that the game was marching on, turning over players, and changing while we were busy focusing on our kids, was part of it.  But, it also had a sense of ceremony and tradition that seemed to mark the passing of time.

My dad attended the 1984 All Star Game at Candlestick Park.  He brought me home a pennant that hung in my bedroom for years afterwards.  Remembering this momento, that I hadn’t thought about in years, made me reflect on the tradition of this game that includes new star players each generation.

The sense of tradition was enhanced by the focus on Derek Jeter’s retirement after 20 years in baseball.  Now, we’re definitely not fans of the Yankees (in fact we kind of hate them because they play in the same division as Dennis’s team – the Baltimore Orioles), but it’s really hard not to like Jeter.  He’s an incredible player.  Plus, he teared up during the standing ovations for him – that was pretty cool.

Dennis noted that this is one of the last great players who only played for one team his entire career.  He compared him to his favorite all time player, Cal Ripken, Jr., who also had an amazing career entirely with one team.  We appreciate and enjoy the loyalty, particularly as it becomes more and more rare in professional sports.

Funny, I didn’t expect to think so much about life, tradition, and the passing of time while watching a baseball game.

Saturday night Dennis and I got the kids to bed early and settled in to watch a movie.  I’d made my first visit to a Redbox that afternoon (what a deal!) and came home with The Guilt Trip.  We like Seth Rogen a lot and figured the contrast between him and Barbara Streisand would be funny.  The plot sounded cute – mother and son embark on a cross-country road trip.

We really enjoyed this movie!  It had a more engaging plotline than we expected and the conversations between mother and son were hilarious and clearly ad-libbed.  Seth Rogen’s delivery and little under-his-breath comments were spot on.  What we didn’t expect was how touching the film would be.  I was in tears at the end and told Dennis, “You really need to call your mom more.”  He replied, “I’ll call her tomorrow.”

The relationship between this overbearing, quintessentially Jewish mother and her long-suffering son was so poignant.  It made me think about the relationship between moms and their boys.  The imbalance, not so much in love, but in the degree to which moms and sons desire to have a relationship with one another is heartbreaking at times.  Moms love their children and want to care for, protect, and nurture them, far after their son has outgrown the need for their mommy.

I think most parents can relate to having a profound realization after their first child was born, something along the lines of, “Oh, this is how much my parents love me!”  Growing up, we take our parents love for granted and don’t realize how these people would literally die for us, that is until we have children of our own.

About halfway through the movie, the disc started skipping (downside of Redbox, I guess?) so Dennis took the disc to clean it.  As I sat waiting, I looked around our living room and my gaze settled on a picture of my mom and brother dancing at his wedding last fall.  I love the picture because it reminds me of the precious moments those two shared during their dance together.  My brother picked an amazing song and my mom looked up at him with pure love and adoration.  My heart was in my throat watching them and thinking, “This is what it’s all about.”

Funny, it wasn’t until after the movie ended, and I was drying my tears, that I realized the thematic link between the film and this picture of my mom and brother.  Mothers and sons.

I feel blessed to have my own little boy to love and nurture.  After this flood of emotion last night, I wanted to have a church date today, just me and Mateo.  He’s so full of energy and spunk these days!  It’s a joy to watch him learn and explore the world.

I sometimes think about what it will feel like to dance with him at his wedding one day.  I’m sure I’ll be flooded with memories of my little ninja jumping, superhero loving little boy, remembering how he’d always reply, “Me too” when I told him “I love you.”  I can’t even imagine all the other memories that will overwhelm me that day, since we haven’t made them yet.  But, I can imagine the feelings and the way I’ll look at him will pure love and adoration.

This is what it’s all about.