Home.

I’m not used to being the one being cared for and protected.  This role reversal right now feels strange, but also very comforting.  The feeling reminds me of when I was diagnosed with diabetes and stayed in the hospital for five days.  My pediatric nurses were so attentive and caring, my mom slept on a fold out chair next to my bed, and visitors came in a steady stream to show their love and concern.  It was a scary time, but I felt immensely loved and safe.

Frankly, I’ve not germaphobic at all.  After testing my blood, I typically put my finger in my mouth to stop the bleeding, so yeah, I’m not afraid of germs.  In fact, maybe that’s why my immune system is strong?  The kids and Dennis all came down with the flu last month and I didn’t.  Who knows?

The panic over the conoravirus seems both extreme and rightly concerning at the same time.  As a Type 1 Diabetic, I’m in the “high risk” category of those with “underlying health conditions”.  With diabetes, the concern is that viruses cause high blood sugars which can be more dangerous that the actual virus.  In terms of respiratory issues, I’m healthy as can be!  But, dealing with a serious virus and high blood sugars can be a challenge in terms of hydration and blood sugar control. 

Fortunately, I can do my job entirely from home, so I started self-quarantining (for the most part) on Thursday.  Dennis and I discussed the situation on the way home from school drop off yesterday. I went along because it was Colonial Feast Day for Sienna and I wanted to help setup her hat shop display.  “If something happened to me, it would be really devastating for the children,” I said.  “You think?!” Dennis replied as he reached for my hand.

As I spent most of the day on the phone dealing with the logistics of my team working remotely and back-up plans should offices need to close, Dennis went to multiple grocery stores.  Armed with a list of items I texted messaged him, he navigated the stores, overhearing concerned mothers as they learned that San Diego Unified announced a three week school closure. 

When he got home, we had a few laughs at some of the incorrect items he purchased!  My “veggie chips” were supposed to be the mixed root vegetables chips, but instead he got a bag of the potato puffed “chips” that are flavored with spinach and therefore labelled “veggie chips”.  We also now have enough fire roasted crushed tomatoes to feed an army, as he got 28 oz cans of crushed instead of 15 oz cans of diced tomatoes.  But, he did his best!  He offered to return them when I realized we needed a few more things, but I told him they’ll work just fine. Something as simple as taking on all the grocery shopping and family errands is Dennis’s tangible gift of love and concern for me. It makes me feel safe and loved.

Sitting there at my computer and gazing around our home, I felt really grateful for the preparation God has been doing to my heart and soul lately.  I’ve been thinking a lot about home and the nature of home making lately.  Our home is a cozy 1,100 square feet.  In sunny San Diego, this small size is offset by a lovely backyard and covered patio area that adds enough livable space for us to spread out. I even enjoy working outside at the patio table on nice days. However, in the winter or when it rains (as it has all week!) then we enjoy abundant family togetherness as most of our living happens in one space. 

Several ideas from The Life Giving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging & Becoming captured my imagination, such as these quotes from Sally & Sarah Clarkson:

“If you want your children to grow up loving what is true, beautiful, and good, your whole home should reflect that wholeness,” (pg. 89).

“Through the years, I have realized over and over that I conduct the atmosphere in my home by the way I rule over my heart.  When I focus not on performance or perfection but on joy, gratitude, and service, everything seems to fall into place,” (pg. 177).

Home should be the place we long to be, as it’s the place where we take refuge.  Home is where we enjoy the company of our loved ones and can truly rest and relax.  Home is where our children learn important lessons and where we all demonstrate love and patience in our daily interactions.  Home is where it’s safe to fail, where grace is extended and we remind each other of God’s love and forgiveness.

Now, since the kids’ school has opted for online instruction for the next few weeks before spring break during Holy Week, we prepare to spend most of the next month at home together. I’m grateful for an outlook on home that is inspiring and restorative.  Life has felt very full and busy the past year or so.  Although the circumstances are a little scary, I’m embracing the coziness of home and period of rest this season will bring.