Rushing kids to get ready and out the door in time to make it to work by 8:15 a.m. feels like a fate worse than death. Fortunately, I don’t have to do it often, but this week I did. Adding to the equation that they have been going to bed late, sleeping in, and generally in the slothful mode of kids in summertime, just about pushed me over the edge.
When we finally left the house to head to their summer program, Sienna realized that we’d forgotten to apply sunscreen. No, correct that… I had forgotten to apply sunscreen to her and Mateo.
“Mom! You forgot our sunscreen!” she accusingly cried.
“You’ll be okay,” I passively replied.
“No, we’ll get sunburned! Why didn’t you put sunscreen on us?” my persistent daughter asked.
“Because I’m a bad mom! What do you want me to say, Sienna?” was my lovingly maternal response.
I sighed, already regretting my comment. “Breathe,” I told myself. For the next few blocks, I just drove and took deep breaths. Gazing in the rearview mirror, which is always pointed toward my kids when they’re in the car, I noted the sad expressions on both their faces.
Pulling the car over to the curb, I turned around to face them.
“I’m sorry. Mommy has a lot of responsibilities and today I was anxious to get to work on time to make sure a room was setup in time for a meeting. You two are my most cherished and important responsibilities and I love you so much. Work is important too because it provides money for our family. Sometimes mommy gets overwhelmed, but I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
“It’s okay, Mom” Sienna replied. Teo smiled at me as he patted my hand.
We parted with big hugs and kisses a few minutes later. On the drive to the office, I could have beaten myself up for responding harshly and sarcastically instead of patiently and lovingly. But, instead, I prayed and remembered that God is gracious and forgiving. This was yet another opportunity to demonstrate that love and grace to Sienna and Teo.
Recently, Sienna has begun telling me she’s sorry for talking rudely or unkindly. She’s started reflecting on why she chose to behave a certain way and expresses regret when she hurts her loved one’s feelings. In these moments, it seems like she’s mimicking me. I’ve made it a point to ask for forgiveness when my words and behavior don’t match my loving intentions.
We all get frustrated and short-tempered from time to time and say things that hurt others. We try to do better, but we’re sinners and we’ll inevitably fall back into wanting things to go our way and getting frustrated with the people around us when they don’t do what we want them to do. Being quick to acknowledge when we sin against those we love and seeking their forgiveness is what I hope our kids are seeing and learning.
I guess it’s fortunate we have so many good teachable moments.