It has felt reflective and familiar to write about diabetes this week. Although I don’t ever get a break from living with diabetes, I’ve taken a pretty long break from regularly writing about it! For several years I wrote about diabetes for HealthCentral and chronicled both of my pregnancies. It was my first experience with blogging and very rewarding!
Today’s prompt is: Lets wrap up the week by sharing a little more about ourselves, beyond the chronic illness we or our loved ones live with. Share an interest, hobby, passion, something that is YOU. If you want to explore how it relates to or helps with diabetes you can. Or let it be a part of you that is completely separate from diabetes, because there is more to life than just diabetes!
The thing that’s most important to me is my faith in God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Embracing my own sinfulness and need for a savior has helped me to mindfully surrender to God’s perfect will, more often. A few years ago, I realized that diabetes was one of the only things that I didn’t take to God in prayer. I’d pray for my loved ones, for peace, for wisdom and insight, for guidance, for the healing of others, and so many other things. But, praying for help managing my blood sugar? Nope, never. It was like this little segment of my life that I was supposed to control on my own.
Control is something I struggle with and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the hallmark of this disease I have is “good control”. Being able to plan ahead, take note of variables, and make decisions on food and insulin all come together to help me keep my blood sugar under control. When I’m feeling the need for a sense of “control” in my life, I tend to turn away from God. I stop surrendering and start relying on myself. I will plan incessantly and start to feel like my own efforts are keeping everything manageable.
When I first realized this disconnect and tried praying about my diet choices and diabetes management, it felt like such a relief! Letting go of this need for perfection and having “it all figured out” in other areas of my life then flowed to diabetes as I began asking for guidance in managing my blood sugar.
“Wow”. “Lights on”. “Of course”. All different things that went through my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely pray for strength to deal with diabetes when I’m ill but day to day…why didn’t I think of that?
Diabetes is very much a reminder that our veneer of control is just that. Thank you for the reminder that faith and prayer are for all areas of our lives.